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Tuesday 28 April 2015

A Thought Experiment/Short Story called "Don't worry about remembering stuff: Google will soon become your brain"

Don’t worry about remembering stuff: Google will soon become your brain

Here’s a thought experiment that was originally inspired by (but not drawn from) an article I read on the occasionally interesting internet blog called “Brain Pickings”.
Suppose, if you will, that you were somehow transported back in time to the 1920s – to be precise, let’s say the date is 11am on 16 June 1925. Suppose also that your iPhone was in your pocket when you entered whatever portal or machine that got you there and that it has survived the journey.
The place you have arrived at is a big, strange room. Directly in front of you is a wall that reaches up to your neck, concealing most of your body. In front of this wall is a large crowd of people, all of whom are staring at your head. They are almost exclusively male, these people, and almost exclusively odd looking, with many of them seeming rather unkempt and lazily dressed, and a highly disproportionate number exhibiting extremely messy hair. Suddenly you begin to recognise a few familiar faces in the crowd – in fact, many. You see Albert Einstein, Bertrand Russell, Marie Curie, Ludwig Wittgenstein, James Joyce, Alan Turing… a pattern rapidly reveals itself in your mind: all of them are geniuses in their respective fields. After a quick survey of the crowd, it becomes clear that they are, more precisely, the one hundred sharpest minds of 1925. You feel very small and insecure. You are just beginning to feel a deep regret about the very bold decision to travel back to 1925 when their spokesperson (let’s just say it’s anyone but Joyce because then I’d feel compelled to try to mimic his idiolect and I couldn’t pull that off), steps out from the crowd, and begins to speak:
“We don’t know who you are or why you are standing behind a wall with only your head exposed. We also don’t know how we came to be here, or where this room is, or what purpose it normally serves. Naturally, this is causing all of us a great deal of consternation. Nevertheless, being all of us very practical people, we have decided to try to make something good of this experience: we hereby challenge you to an extremely rigorous general knowledge test.”
You feel ill. Two hundred beady genius eyes bear down on you, burning a massive hole in your face.
“Two teams shall partake in this quiz, namely, all of us and you. There is only one rule: none may consult a book. Seeing as none of us have any books in our possession and the door out of this unfurnished room is barred, this rule should be quite straightforward for everyone to observe. Since we should like to be able to confer without a sense of stress or urgency if the answer to a particular question does not immediately come to one of us, we also decree that there shall be no time limit. Naturally, however, in the event that both teams have the correct answer the team which answers first shall be declared the winner, so there is an incentive for rapidity.
The last matter we must clarify before we begin pertains to the questions. You may be wondering how many of these there shall be and how they shall be selected. Well, we have decided that there shall be precisely one hundred questions, each of which shall be chosen and asked by a different one of us. Evidently, he who poses the question in any given round shall be debarred from participating in that round, assuming instead the role of arbiter for its duration.  In case you are concerned that some of us might be tempted to abuse our powers as arbiter, I would like to stress that the far majority of us here are, by reason of our employ and character, interested in the truth above all else – in fact, you might say to the detriment of all else. [Some chuckles of assent from the crowd]. As far as I’m aware, each of us here holds the view that, in general, it matters not who utters a statement, as long as it is true. Thus, I would think it at least extremely unlikely that any of us would engage in such malfeasance. However, if an arbiter does whisper the answer to our team or wrongfully declare us to be the winner, I think you may trust the rest of us to condemn that person and annul the round. I believe this fact ought to suffice to disabuse you of your putative concern.
Although we all aspire to probity, as has been made clear enough, we must insist that you consent to this questionnaire on pain of death, because we are all very eager to play it.”
“Ok,” you murmur, now wishing with all your heart that you were back in the 21st Century where no group of geniuses ever challenged you to rigorous questionnaires on pain of death. The fear and distress you now feel causes you to momentarily forget that there is no internet in 1925. You hence take your phone out of your pocket, tap in your passcode and press Safari. As soon as Safari begins to load, however, your mind returns. And you are just about to put the phone back in your pocket when, suddenly, Google appears! ‘Thank god,’ you think, ‘This is actually a miracle.’ Briefly, you pause for thought, as you know that, as a metaphysical naturalist, believing that you had experienced a true miracle would completely undermine your view on just about everything. Fortunately, after a few seconds, a hypothesis that is more compatible with your convictions presents itself: ‘Actually, I probably ruptured the space-time continuum, or tore a hole in the fabric of space or something, and that means I’m standing in a tiny patch of 21st Century space. Thank god I did create a paradox. Now I have the chance to stick it to these titans of the 20th Century.’
Although some of these titans are looking at your head while you look down at your phone and think these thoughts, they have, at this point, no reason to think you’re from the 21st Century or are holding any kind of knowledge-giving device. It just does not cross their minds, despite how imaginative and clever these minds are.
The first question of the rigorous questionnaire is about newts. It turns out the announcer is a biologist with a particular expertise in amphibians, and he is the arbiter for the first round.
“I hope it’s permissible that this question is not really a question, strictly speaking:
List the genera of the family Salimandrae in alphabetical order by Latin name; give also their common names after each Latin one.”
As soon as you hear the word “Salimandrae” you bash newts into Google and immediately click Wikipedia – but one of the weirdest looking men in the crowd[1], has already stepped out from the crowd and begun rattling off the list in a high, whiny voice: “Calotriton or Spanish brook newts, Cynops or firebelly newts, Echinotriton or spiny newts, Ichthyosaura or alpine newts…”
You are quick enough onto Wikipedia to verify his list, but you soon determine that he is too much of a freak to slip up. Already feeling defeated, you click out of Wikipedia before he’s even finished. And thirty seconds later, this human beanpole is getting slapped on the back by Curie and Wittgenstein (making him wince and look harrowed), and the biologist announcer is declaring that “Team Genius is ahead 1-0!”
You, meanwhile, have never felt more worthless and stupid in your life, and want to die. But let’s say that the next question is asked by James Joyce, and being both an egomaniac and a man with a predilection for throwing spanners in works, he says, “Since it’s the 16th of June, I was wondering whether anyone here could be prevailed upon to recite the beginning of Part II episode 4, or “Calypso”, of my controversial, bizarre and epic novel Ulysses. As long as someone is able to reach the phrase “the cat cried” in their recitation, I shall be satisfied.”[2]
You quickly type in the famous first few words of that chapter into Google, and to your delight the room remains silent. Although some people in the crowd are able to recall verbatim much of what they read normally, most of them have not read Ulysses and have no desire to do so. Most of these people don’t care for fiction of any kind, let alone the most bombastic kind imaginable. And so, in a still silent room, you are on the website called “Genius” (funnily enough), the one which is most used for song lyrics and always has that black background, and you are reading aloud the chapter:
“Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked the thick giblet soup, the nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods’ roes […].”
Although it is evident from Joyce’s anguished facial expressions that he does not find your accent euphonious or your voice mellifluous, when you reach the stipulated end of the passage, he does reluctantly declare you the winner of the round.
So it’s one-all now. And let’s say the next question, which is just a basic historical one on the number of ships in the Spanish Armada or something, is answered first by the geniuses. But let’s say the next one after that, a linguist-asked question on some word in some obscure language of an Inuit tribe, is easy enough for you to look up and you actually get it right. And let’s say the next one is a far more obscure historical question than a Spanish Armada one, and you are again able to look it up and get it right. And let’s say Wittgenstein asks about certain aspects of his linguistic theories and you get that one right too. And let’s say Marie Curie asks if anyone can give a brief biography of her, and that’s easy for you again. And eventually, by the end of the one hundred questions, you’ve won seventy to thirty! Against not just one phenomenal genius but one hundred, all working together, you’ve triumphed!
After the announcer has declared you the winner and you begin humbly acknowledging your great victory with a series of polite, gracious nods and some invisible shrugs of self-effacement, many of the geniuses start trying to rationally figure out the nature of your genius. A lot of different hypotheses arise. Most of the geniuses are absolutely shell-shocked. ‘Perhaps’, one of these bewildered individuals thinks, ‘This man is just the smartest person to have ever lived. Somehow he has managed to live in obscurity until now but it seems inevitable that this man will soon achieve a great triumph with the truly incredible intellect he has demonstrated today.’ Some are so overwhelmed by your display that they are doubting their senses and undergoing serious mental breakdowns.
However, most do conclude that there is something suspicious about the way you always looked down before answering any question and always paused for at least twenty seconds before embarking on any response. Some of this majority speculate that you must have breached the one rule of the questionnaire: ‘He must have been holding some kind of massive, vastly detailed encyclopaedia in his hands,’ these people think, even though the rapidity with which you answered many of the questions and the sheer diversity of the responses seem to contradict this. Einstein has concluded that the most likely explanation is that you were assisted by some kind of brilliant futuristic technology. Einstein has, of course, got it right.
But regardless of any of their hypotheses, one fact still stands: you have proven yourself more knowledgeable than the one-hundred geniuses. You have won.

And now suppose that the way you interacted with the internet database was so instinctual and so immediate that you didn’t need to look down at all or even pause before you answered any of the questions. You would have got 100 out of 100 correct and blown the geniuses out of the water.
This is what many futurists think could be the reality in a few decades from now.
                                    




[1] A bespectacled, gangly, scoliotic newt-fancier and English gent called Augustus Fink-Nottle who is unknown in the 21st Century but did have an eidetic memory so was naturally part of the one hundred sharpest minds of 1925.
[2] Ok, so I did try to pull off Joyce’s idiolect after all – but not really. Don’t hate.

Monday 6 April 2015

An essay that started out as a uni assessment called "A Mostly Unoriginal Essay on Morality"

A Mostly Unoriginal Essay on Morality (that is totally shit and I now disown)

Should you always do what is morally right? Is there any reason for you to do so? Although these questions have been pondered by atheists for more than a hundred years now, they still bear thinking about. They are still absolutely relevant to our lives, and there is still no definitive answer. This essay is an investigation of those answers that have been proposed.

The 19th Century Scottish enlightenment philosopher David Hume was arguably the father of all atheistic conceptions of morality. He was a brilliant philosopher who inverted the assumptions that had prevailed since the Ancient Greeks about human psychology and in doing so profoundly destabilised conventional wisdom on morality. Funnily enough, he essentially did this all with a single suggestion, expressed most pithily by a famous sentence in his book On Reason and Passion: “Reason is, and ought only to be, the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them”.[1] In contrast to Plato and most prominent Western philosophers thereafter, Hume was claiming that there was no difference between a good person and a bad person in the extent to which reason was able to take control of or override the passions – instead, everyone, no matter how bad or good, could never be motivated to any action but through passion.[2] While once it had been accepted as unquestionable fact that man was moral because God had bestowed upon him the faculty of reason to know that he should live according to His ethical dictates, Hume, the perpetual sceptic, was suggesting that it was “impossible, that the distinction betwixt moral good and evil, [could] be made by reason”.[3] Throughout his life it appears that Hume did still cling limply to the Christian paradigm of his age, and this is arguably why the ultimate conclusions about morality that he draws from his ideas about human psychology are still compatible with a modified vision of God’s role. Most notably, the fact that Hume determined that all of us are born with certain positive natural sentiments – namely, hedonism, “sympathy” (meaning the capacity to know what others are feeling) and benevolence – that tend to lead us all on a path towards a certain altruistic spirit and the pursuit of so-called “calm passions” could certainly be seen as a reflection of some Christian belief. Nevertheless, it is most certainly the case that Hume’s theory laid the foundations for the emergence of certain rather radical and necessarily unchristian non-cognitivist metaethical theories, like expressivism and emotivism, and it is hard to argue that such Godless suggestions of the absence of truth conditions in morality do not in fact inhere in Hume’s theory. After all, it was Hume who said, “It is not pretended, that a judgement [that prompts or directs a passion], either in its truth or falsehood, is attended with virtue or vice”.[4] It is important to note that, although one might intuit that the ultimate consequence of the acceptance of Hume’s theory is that we would all collectively succumb to our baser, more animalistic desires, and thus always perform the wrong action as long as it gave us profit, Hume simply believed that we were already acting on the basis of our desires, and our nature and culture simply ensured that most of us almost had no choice whether to be good or bad in the Christian senses of the word. In this way, Hume’s insight had nearly done away with the need of prescribing right and wrong; instead, a person could only opt out of the game of morality if he was deeply unusual in his nature, and there was nothing we could do about such defective characters.
To me, this final implication of his theory is deeply disturbing. That is, of course, not a basis for any kind of refutation, however I do also believe that Hume and all his successors are somewhat misguided. I do not accept that moral utterances have no truth-conditions, just as I don’t accept that the only truth-conditions they have rest on whether they are an accurate representation of a person’s psychology. In other words, I reject all non-cognitivist and subjectivist conceptions of morality. What follows is my attempt to justify this view.
 The simplest argument for any kind of moral relativism (by which I mean to include “error theory” as well as those metaethical theories aforementioned) is that views on morality vary enormously both interculturally and intraculturally – even between two individuals in the same family. A person trying to defend this argument need only point to the atrocities of ISIS, or men who burn puppies, for clear evidence that even what most people in the Western world see as medieval or primitive moral behaviour, such as the brutal killing of innocent beings, is not seen in that light by many people in the West, and even more outside it. This is not to mention disagreements on all matters less extreme than those to do with bloody murder, such as the rights of women and homosexuals, female genital mutilation, the treatment of asylum seekers, and even totally mundane matters like lying to a friend, cheating in a test, or hitting your kids. Indeed, it is so obvious that people have different views on morality that it is a truism to say it.
But let it be made clear that I do not believe this makes it a sound argument against objectivism. My objection to this next step in the argument is very simple: when we acquire knowledge normally, we do not base it on the views of people around us. We do not say the fact that some people still believe the Earth is flat or that around half of Americans don’t believe in man-induced climate change means that we cannot know whether the scientific consensus is true. Or to give an example of an intellectual dispute more analogous to that about ethics, we do not say the fact that physicists, clerics and laymen cannot agree on the exact nature of the birth of our universe means that either all interpretations are true, or that they’re all neither true nor false. Now you may, of course, question whether ethical knowledge is at all like the kind found in almost any other intellectual domain, and, if not, whether this precludes its objectivity. This would be the second line of argument. Without this, the first is useless, but with it the first becomes a further support. For emotivists, it is quite clear that moral utterances are totally unlike statements such as “The Earth is round”. Their justification for this was perhaps advanced most famously by the British philosopher A.J. Ayer in his landmark book Language, Truth and Logic. In chapter six of this book, “Critique of Ethics and Theology”, Ayer concentrates on one class of the “ordinary system of ethics”, moral judgements, and argues since these cannot be translated into non-ethical, empirical terms they cannot be verified.[5] As Ayer puts it, "we find that argument is possible on moral questions only if some system of values is presupposed."[6] This is an argument quite similar to the is-ought gap first proposed by Hume, except that instead of saying it is never deductively valid to progress from description to prescription, Ayer is suggesting that there is no way of reducing right and wrong to states of affairs.[7] Ayer therefore concludes that ethical concepts are "mere pseudo-concepts" and claims that when one expresses a moral judgement what one is really doing is expressing a “moral sentiment”.[8] Since they cannot be understood as propositions, Ayer argues that moral judgements have no truth-value.
Subjectivists, such as the late 20th Century philosopher Gilbert Harman, tend to agree with such an argument, but their conclusion differs ever so subtly: they claim that moral utterances are truth-apt since they can only be one of two things: an accurate reflection of a person’s psychology or an inaccurate one. Of course, the congruence of the two theories on Ayer’s argument does not mean that Ayer’s argument is the primary one for both. On the contrary, Harman himself advances another rather simple argument for both based on the so-called Principle of Parsimony (a principle which tells you that you should assume that something doesn’t exist if it isn’t needed to explain anything).[9] Harman begins with the sensible premise that everyone on the planet could easily have arrived at his or her moral instincts and beliefs by a combination of innate psychology, enculturation and inculcation.[10] Given this fact, he claims we don’t need to postulate the existence of ethical facts to explain any observations. Thus, he argues, according to the principle, we should assume that ethical facts don’t exist.[11] Harman states this non-requirement of extra-human explanation is what makes ethical propositions totally unlike unobservable things in science, like protons, neutrons, dark matter and genes, the existence of all of which is borne out by a mass of data and the systematic testing of a series of models.[12]
Although both of these theories (emotivism and subjectivism) may sound very convincing, there are a few interrelated objections that apply to both of them, all of which rest essentially on the notion that the emotivists and subjectivists lack imagination. It is for this reason that I am not quite convinced by either theory. Perhaps the most obvious objection attacks the first premise of Harman’s Principle of Parsimony argument, and it does so by drawing attention to the fact that many of our moral utterances are clearly both spoken (or written) as if they were utterances of fact, plus interpreted that way by others. A particularly obvious demonstration of the truth of this objection is when someone changes their opinion on a moral matter: if someone holds a certain ethical view, say, that homosexuality is wrong, or that cheating is ok, but then changes it, it goes without saying that she will normally aver that the reason she changed her view was that she simply saw the facts of the matter. Granted, Harman and no doubt most subjectivists (but probably fewer emotivists) acknowledge this,[13] yet they argue that this observation still fits well within their view of ethics as basically constructed, because lots of people thinking their moral utterances are truth-apt doesn’t mean they are. Nevertheless, the contemporary Swedish philosopher and moral realist Torbjorn Tannsjo argues with some force that it is at least very unlikely that so many people are deluded. As he says, “There are also cases where people do intend their moral judgements to capture a moral reality that is seen by them as sui generis. This is certainly how Sidgwick and Moore conceived of their own moral judgements […] and this is how contemporary moral realists such as Parfit and myself [sic] conceive of our own moral judgments and disagreements. And even if it is possible that we delude ourselves, even if it is possible that we are mistaken in our understanding of our own words, this possibility is far-fetched, considering the way at least we moral realists conceive of the subject-matter of morality.”[14] As Tannsjo himself later points out, this argument is also put forward by error theorists, most notably Mackie, some of whose claims Tansjo’s article subsequently attempts to refute. Despite this parallel, let us keep our focus on the subjectivists and the emotivists for the moment; I will get to the debate between moral realists and error theorists in good time.
The other possible objections to both metaethical theories are, it must be said, rather non-positivist and rely on a fairly good imagination, but I am satisfied that they are strong enough to at least preserve the possibility that there could be some kind of objective ethical facts. The first is an objection to the way the is-ought argument is used to dismiss the possibility of an objective morality, and it is very simple. As stated by Elliot Sober in his book Core Questions in Philosophy, it is that “To reach the subjectivist conclusion, you need to assume that if ethical facts exist, they must be deducible from is-statements”.[15] Although such an objection would, it seems, be anathema to most logical positivists[16], it seems to me logically reasonable. Sober also provides another very similarly imaginative objection to the conclusion of Harman’s Principle of Parsimony argument. While he concedes that ethical facts aren’t needed to explain why we have the beliefs we do, Sober simply says he needs an extra assumption to go from that to “Ethical facts don’t exist”.[17] He is thus not rejecting the Principle of Parsimony, per se, but questioning whether our non-requirement of ethical facts to explain our beliefs means that they couldn’t exist at all. Sober poses the question, “Why should the reality of ethical facts stand or fall on their role in psychological explanation?”[18] I submit that this is itself a pretty outlandish suggestion, since it seems to imply that ethics could be fundamentally extra-human, and I think that an extraordinarily unlikely and fairly mystical idea. Nevertheless, it still does strike me as a logically valid query to make.
In response to some of the arguments put forward by the error theorist John Mackie, Tansbjorn makes similarly imaginative objections to claims of the impossibility of ethical truth. As part of his “argument from queerness”, Mackie propounds that the fact that objective moral properties are supposedly “consequential” or “supervenient” is one of the major things that makes them queer.[19] Tansbjorn says the natural response from the moral realist to Mackie’s argument would be, not a denial of supervenience, but a denial of the claim that supervenience as such is any strange phenomenon.[20] Another response that Tansbjorn does not mention would of course be the basic observation that the fact of an entity’s being something fundamentally different from what we normally experience — and therefore presumably outside our sphere of experience — doesn’t give us prima facie reason to either doubt or affirm its existence. Despite these two possibilities, Tansbjorn himself opts, very creatively, to question the notion that moral properties can’t be both sui generis and supervenient on natural properties. Indeed, he suggests that “The view that moral properties are both sui generis and supervenient upon natural properties can be upheld, if we adopt a fairly weak view of supervenience, according to which a certain natural property brings with it a corresponding moral property only in all possible worlds that are sufficiently like ours”.[21] He follows this with the bizarre speculation that there could in fact be worlds where different laws of nature and morality obtain, like worlds where Kantianism is true or worlds where moral nihilism is true.[22] Putting aside the strangeness, I do once again find this logic to be sound. Sadly, Tannsbjorn ultimately ends the chapter by acknowledging that he does not “pretend to give any knock-down argument […] for the thesis that moral arguments or facts exist, independently of our thoughts and actions”.[23] Notwithstanding the hype surrounding the moral realist and Oxford philosophy Derek Parfit’s publication in 2011 of a weighty tome purporting to have “climbed the mountain” that has supposedly always existed behind the views of the best versions of Kantian deontology, consequentialism and contractualism, I do feel that it is highly unlikely that anyone will be able to give a knock-down argument in favour of moral realism. Yet I don’t know if its proponents will ever disappear either.
Of course, way back in 1785, Immanuel Kant did think that he had basically ‘solved morality’ with his rationalist account of ethics in the groundbreaking philosophical work known often (but not always) as The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals, and there are neo-Kantians who think he’s right to this day. The deep unusualness of Kant’s theory is that it simply commands you to obey it, and once you are in its thrall you are supposedly logically bound to it. Thus, in Kant’s mind, it would not be so much deplorable as irrational (or wrong based on the grounds of reason) to profit, say, by lying – one of the vices he argues we have a “perfect duty” to never commit.
In order to understand how Kant came to this view, let us first look at his differences to Hume. Although not directly reacting against Hume’s theory, Kant found one of the primary implications of Hume’s work – namely, that when we are acting morally we are merely slaves or automatons to our desires – quite unpalatable. Kant also held the deontological conviction that the moral worth of an action should never be measured by its consequences, indeed that “everything empirical […] is highly prejudicial to the purity of moral practices themselves”.[24] While this is not a direct rejection of any Humean ideas, since Hume didn’t formulate any kind of proto-utilitarian philosophy, it seems clear to me that if you accept the idea that good and bad moral actions are both ultimately acts of desire-gratification, then you must only be able to evaluate the goodness of the action on its effects.
So how did Kant’s ingenious derivation of impregnable moral obligations from pure reason actually work? Well, it is begun on the supposedly rock-solid basis that morality does (and must) consist of “categorical imperatives” rather than hypothetical ones. In other words, that morality consists of straight commands and conditional commands, but never ones based on desires. All of the commands generated by Humean practical reasoning would, of course, be hypothetical, and this means that, in Kant’s eyes, what Hume is talking about when he says morality is something else entirely. The way Kant saw it is that if you are not performing a moral action out of duty, which he perceived as acting out of reverence for a law, (as opposed to merely acting in accordance with a moral law, probably in submission to your desires) then that action simply cannot be called morally worthy. Significantly, Kant believed that you could rationally derive a single, unquestionable and all-important categorical imperative simply from these truths. This law is “Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law”.[25] Here, the fact of your actions having to fit into a “universal law” obviously follows on from his conviction of the necessary impersonality of morality. And due to the way he thought of the “maxim” and what he meant by “will”[26], he claimed any rational person could rationally derive a whole series of both perfect and imperfect duties from this imperative. The logical fashion in which you would carry out this derivation would be to first think of the most general manner of phrasing the maxim you were following when performing any kind of action – say, promising your friend to repay the loan she has given you, even though you know you will never be able to. Kant includes a case very similar to this and says the maxim in that case would be “Make a promise even though you intend to break it”.  Obviously, the next step is to “will that it should be universalised”, which, in the Kantian sense, essentially means imagine a world where everyone followed that maxim and decide whether this world could either logically be conceived of (i.e. whether it would be a paradoxical world) or whether you can will it psychologically (i.e. whether it would be too bleak to fathom). Kant believes a world where everyone followed the aforementioned maxim to do with promising is logically inconceivable, since everybody would eventually come to regard promises as worthless and hence stop making them. Crucially, Kant says it is our perfect duty not to follow all those maxims which don’t pass this first test, known as the “Contradiction in Conception Test”. In this way, he claims that it is also our perfect duty not to kill, lie and even commit suicide, along with a whole host of other actions that generally align with Christian morality (to which he was a subscriber). Similarly, he says that it is our imperfect duty not to follow all those maxims that pass the Contradiction in Conception Test but don’t pass the second one, known as the Contradiction in the Will Test. These imperfect duties supposedly bind you in all circumstances except those in which a perfect duty would have to be violated to carry them out. Some examples of imperfect duties that one can derive from Kant’s system are to nurture one’s talents, or to help someone in a desperate situation.
Kant does, of course, also claim that one can derive another “formulation” of the same basic categorical imperative from the first formulation of it, and then a third from the second. This second formulation, namely “Act so that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in that of another, always as an ends and never as a means only”, is actually preferred by many modern Kantians and is generally seen as less dubious than the first. The third is easily derivable from the second, and is simply “Act as if you live in a Kingdom of Ends” (i.e. in a world in which all rational agents are respected as ends in themselves). This tends to be ignored.
Although Kant was very confident that he had made a momentous achievement in supposedly rationally ‘figuring out’ the duties that everyone is bound to follow, one must make clear first of all, even leaving aside any flaws in his logic, that Kant does not in fact give anyone who does not wish to be moral any reason to be. As the great English philosopher Bernard Williams  puts it in his book Ethics and the Limits of Philosophy, within the “Kantian framework […] there can be no reason for being moral, and morality presents itself as an unmediated demand, a categorical imperative”.[27] Thus, although it is said by many that Kant presents morality as a game you can’t opt out of, this is not strictly true. Kant, just like any other thinker, cannot justify actually being moral, in its most basic form, without resorting to moral presuppositions. So despite his claims, this still strikes me as an insurmountable obstacle for all philosophers. You may say you should always do what is morally right, but you can never validly say why anyone should.
Another very questionable aspect of Kant’s ethical beliefs is his conviction that morality must be absolutely separate from desire. Again, I agree with Bernard Williams here, who wrote (in the same book) that Kant’s view that “morality is uniquely exempted from psychological hedonism […] is certainly wrong”.[28] On top of this, there are, as I intimated, obvious weaknesses in Kant’s logic. The clearest relate to the arbitrariness of the method by which you are meant to derive duties from the first formulation of the categorical imperative. Not only could you easily claim that the universalising of a maxim like “Commit suicide when you are tired of life” would not lead to an impossible world, contrary to what Kant says, but the system of basing the duties on maxims is fraught with arbitrariness to begin with. For example, to use the action from a few paragraphs before, many very moral people in our world do break promises, but you’d have to think that most of them are not following the maxim Kant gives when doing so. Instead, most of them would be abiding by a more complicated maxim like “Don’t break a promise unless you intend to keep it, unless you are in a situation where much is at stake and your intention to break the promise wouldn’t be evident to others”.[29] Universalising this maxim would lead you to imagine a world very much like our own, and thus, paradoxically, you would be unable to justify calling it a perfect duty not to break promises – and with Kant’s own logic. Thus, clearly, Kant’s theory is imperfect.
      So, if I don’t accept Humean ethical theory and its descendants, subjectivism and emotivism[30], and don’t fully accept any kind of objectivism yet am unwilling to put away the possibility that there could be objective ethical facts (which places me at odds with error theory), where have I got to go? I could call myself a fictionalist, despite that being a part of error theory, but the problem is that I find it extremely hard to stomach the idea that the values I hold close to my heart are fictions. I truly and sincerely believe that altruism is good, that kindness is good, that humility is good, that decency is good, that bravery is good, and that duty and honour are more than just words. Equally, I believe that selfishness is bad, that greed is bad, that cheating is bad, and I am happy to call murder, rape, torture not just bad but evil. For all intents and purposes, I see these things as objectively so, even though on a hyper-intellectual level, as an empiricist, I know that they almost certainly aren’t.  But, at the same time as this, I am most definitely with Derek Parfit (and against Bertrand Russell and Bernard Williams) on his insistence that there is something deeply disturbing about the idea that all moral utterances are either meaningless or wrong.[31] The way I see it is that it doesn’t matter that our innate neurochemistry and the messages of our culture will ensure that people will tend to do things we used to call good – what matters is whether these things are good. If they’re not, then our emotions are the only things motivating us. How can this not be profoundly unsettling? Nietzsche understood the momentousness of the loss of belief in objective morality, even if he himself was a total nihilist:
“How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves?”[32]
 The fact is a fictionalist has no justification for why he should make any conscious effort to abide by any moral law at all. A fictionalist cannot decry war crimes or atrocities, inveigh against the abject horrors of ISIS, or admire the compassion of a politician without a heart tainted by insincerity. A fictionalist cannot continue to thank his grandma when she pours him a cup of tea without knowing, in his heart of hearts, that he is blindly worshipping a trivial custom. A fictionalist may choose to follow his feelings and instincts to look for direction on how to ethically evaluate certain actions – he may feel enraged at the Draconian policies of a politician, he may feel sick to the stomach when reports emerge of the man who burned multiple puppies to death, he may feel inspired and moved by tales of wartime sacrifice – but he cannot trust these feelings. He does not believe the age-old virtues of fairness, compassion, duty, honour; he does not believe right and wrong. And thus, unless he is some kind of inhuman creature who never makes judgements in those terms, on some level he doesn’t believe himself. Is this not a profoundly meaningless life? 
So, despite not being religious and being unable to trust the rationalist justifications for ethical facts, perhaps it is best I still call myself an objectivist. You may think me still a fictionalist, but, if so, only one with a profound case of cognitive dissonance.
What this all means is that I don’t have the answers. I believe you should always do what is morally right but I can’t prove it to you. After all, even before I reached the blood and bones of the task, I would, of course, first have to define what is right, and then prove the validity of that definition. And obviously, as I’ve made clear, you can opt out of morality if you want. It’s really up to you whether you choose to lead a moral life. As turns out, though, it is impossible for any normal human being to live either a completely moral life or a completely amoral one without being deeply unhappy.[33]
So, perhaps I do have a valid objectivist view after all. Yes, I have decided that my experience should be used as a basis for a single true categorical imperative: live in awareness of the knowledge that all moral propositions are almost certainly false but also that the ones you can’t help thinking are true are indeed objectively so. Contradict yourself. I believe every logical person will, through reason, conclude that this paradoxical universal law is the absolute truth.
Is this not the objective answer ethical philosophy has been looking for all along? Both reductivist and anti-reductivist, relativist and objectivist, positivist and sceptical, how can any law be more perfect?







[1] Hume, D. 1739/1888, A Treatise of Human Nature, Clarendon Press, Oxford, pp. 119.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Hume, D. op. cit, pp. 121.
[4] Hume, D. op. cit, pp. 122.
[5] Ayer, A.J. 1952, Language, Truth and Logic, Dover, New York, pp. 111.
[6] Ibid.   
[7] Unless you’re a utilitarian, although contrary to what some of them might tell you, they don’t really avoid the central conundrum because there is still no way of empirically deriving that your chosen goal (for example, collective happiness or preference realisation) is right/good.
Also, while I’m on the subject, the only form of utilitarianism that is purely utilitarian is called “act utilitarianism” or “direct utilitarianism” and this is a completely impractical system for how to live. For one, no one except utilitarian philosophers has time to weigh up the “costs” and “benefits” for significant decisions in life; for another, it is highly doubtful whether you can truly weigh up the costs and benefits of any given action; thirdly, weighing up the costs and benefits for every action takes time away from that needed to do good things; and lastly, if everyone was a true act utilitarian the world would, paradoxically, be a worse place, because nobody could trust the justice system (which would quite often convict innocent people), doctors (who would quite often kill patients), and nobody would have any friends or family or pursue the arts, write books, paint, make music etc.
Now, of course, most act utilitarians presumably only apply their philosophy to very specific, discrete cases, and that’s fine. I just wanted to make clear for those who didn’t already know that utilitarianism is a fundamentally flawed guide for how to live.
[8] Ayer, A.J. op. cit.
[9] Sober, E. 2001, Core Questions in Philosophy, Prentice Hall, New Jersey, pp. 418; taken from Harman, G. 1977, The Nature of Morality: An Introduction to Ethics, Oxford University Press, Oxford.
[10] Ibid, pp. 417.
[11] Ibid, pp.418.
[12] Ibid, pp. 417.
[13] Sober, E from Harman, G. op. cit, pp. 417.
[14] T, Torbjorn. 2010, From Reasons to Norms: On the Basic Questions in Ethics, Springer, Dordrecht, pp. 32.
[15] Sober, E. op. cit, pp. 417.
[16] Which is perhaps ironic, considering he is trying to cast doubt on those who deny the possibility of objectivism – a movement evidently much more strongly associated with logical positivism than its metaethical antagonists.
[17] Sober, E. op. cit, pp. 417.
[18] Ibid.
[19] Mackie, J.L. 1991, Ethics: Inventing Right and Wrong, Penguin, London, pp. 41.
[20] T, Torbjorn. op. cit, pp. 37.
[21] Ibid, pp. 38.
[22] Ibid.
[23] Ibid, pp. 48.
[24] Kant, I. 1785/1949, The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals in The Philosophy of Immanuel Kant, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 227. [Found in reader].
[25] Kant, I. op. cit, pp. 274.
[26] Both variables that are disputable and hence will be disputed in good time.
[27] Williams, B. 1985/2006, Ethics and the Limits of Philosophy, Routledge, Abingdon, pp. 55.
[28] Williams, B. op. cit, pp. 15.
[29] This is an imagined maxim for a promise-breaker very similar to the one given by Elliot Sober on page 452 of the previously cited Core Questions in Philosophy.
[30] And emotivism’s sister expressivism, which I thought it unnecessary to mention
[31] Macfarquhar, L. September 5 2011, ‘How to be Good’, The New Yorker, viewed 5 April 2015.
<http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/09/05/how-to-be-good>
[32] Nietzsche, F. 1882, The Gay Science. Found, however, on the website Good Reads, viewed on 6 April 2015.
<http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/22827-god-is-dead-god-remains-dead-and-we-have-killed>
[33] The fact that you can’t live a completely moral life and be happy is illustrated well by Susan Wolf’s article “Moral Saints”. The other I take to be self-evident.