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Wednesday 31 January 2018

Two Surreal/Ridiculous Short Stories from 2014 that Evince my Frustration with the Strictures of "Creative" Writing for the HSC

(The first was written for the "After the Bomb" module in English Extension I (I actually submitted this one for homework and was criticised by my teacher for taking the piss), and the second was a "Belonging" in Advanced English creative that I never submitted, for obvious reasons.)

Expendable

George Lawrence was walking quickly. The early morning air was thickly foggy and it was drizzling with rain. The footpath in front of him was wet and a little slippery. The city looked even more grey than usual. He couldn’t imagine more drab concrete towers than the ones that towered above him on either side of the road.
It’s like 1984. Haha, coz it is.   
He felt stressed. He had woken up stressed, having been told the news yesterday by his boss that today was to be the day of sackings, and he only felt more so now. He was definitely a prime candidate for sacking. Unpopular, quiet, not especially productive – yes he ticked all the boxes for dismissal.
Fuck.
Maybe this would be the final time he would ever walk to his office at Williams Wealth – that was a harrowing thought. As he continued walking swiftly along the footpath, feeling sick to the stomach, he glanced down at his watch: 20 past 8. He needed to get to work early otherwise the boss would basically have no problem firing him at all – he’d have the excuse he needed. He could even imagine what that ugly little man would say:
You weren’t even punctual on the day I’d told you people would be fired. That displays an enormous amount of laziness and, I think, umm, what’s the word?, contempt for this business. I have no choice but to fire you.  
George started cantering. He was encumbered by his briefcase and the inflexibility of his work trousers, but he still was able to gather a fair bit of speed. The buildings next to him were now just a blur, while the people walking along the footpath seemed to stop moving, becoming mere obstacles for him to avoid. For a few seconds, he forgot he was meant to be stressed. As the wind rushed past his face and through his hair, he forgot everything: he forgot how drab the city was and what the boss had said; he forgot work, he forgot where he was going. He was just bounding along the wet, slippery footpath, bounding through space and time, through an infinite greyness, forever…
But then he remembered everything again. He realised he was only a street away from his work. He slowed immediately. He felt sick to the stomach as he inched along, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps, five steps, six steps, seven steps, eight steps, nine steps, ten steps.
No, I can’t just inch along, I have to hurry up, I need to get to work. I can’t get fired.
He started cantering again. The canter soon turned into a desperate lurch, one which was expending all his energy and will-power. He was getting closer and closer to the building in which he worked. Finally he was there. Breathing heavily, he walked in the open door of his building, walked over to the lift, and pressed the button. He waited.
Ding!
The doors opened and he walked in. He pressed level 13. The elevator whirred and he watched the numbers light-up one by one.
11, 12, 13. Ding!
The doors opened and he walked out. He turned right down the corridor, walked towards the big door at the end of the vestibule, and pushed it open. Immediately he was hit by a wave of indistinct chatter. He gazed over the familiar bureaucratic scene: there were desks everywhere, most of them occupied, as a multitude of people tapped away on their typewriters.
Suddenly he noticed the boss, with his dumpy body and ugly bald head, was walking towards him from the other side of the room.
Why would he walk right towards me? Surely that means I’m fired.
The boss reached him, and now George could see the true horror of his blotchy and jowly face. He hadn’t noticed before but he had a hideous little mouth, a mouth which was now gaping open.
“I just wanted to have a little private chat with you, George, to let you know before I make the big speech to everyone here at Williams Wealth that I never even, umm what’s the word?, considered you for the cuts I am forced to make. You are a really valued member of my staff and I really appreciate your work ethic. Your work – ”
Suddenly the roof caved-in in front of him with an enormous crash and women screamed. Ceiling plaster was showering down. George saw that the material from the ceiling was now where a few desks used to be. People were under it. They were trapped.  

Bomb. 


Untitled

Susan stabbed a fork into the stub of meat she could see poking out of the murky, seething broth and pulled it towards her. A big hunk of soft, cartilaginous meat, tightly hugging a thick bone. Her fork only had a tenuous grip on it. She tried to quickly bring it towards her plate before it had a chance to fall off the fork, but globs of meat slipped off and flopped onto the table. A mixture of corporeal fluid and broth oozed out of them, seeping into the white tablecloth.
“Blast,” she whispered to herself.
“Here, let me pick that up for you,” Andrew’s dad said. He used his chopsticks to pick up the pieces on the table and put them into her little round bowl.
“I extend my sorrow a propos that prior error and request clemency,” Susan said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Andrew’s dad said, smiling.
“Yes, it’s really fine,” his mum said, smiling also.
Susan looked across the table at Edmund and he smiled too, but a bit more wryly.
“The comestibles are tremendously delectable,” Susan said. Susan could see that Andrew’s dad was reaching over to Andrew to ask for a translation. Andrew whispered it into his father’s ear.
Andrew’s father looked back at Susan. “Thank you very much, you’re too kind.”
“I find that praise to be very gratifying indeed. I endeavour always to act with a considerable degree of magnanimity,” she replied, smiling.
Andrew’s dad smiled at her again. While he was clearly trying to conceal his confusion and – despite his best efforts – slight contempt for Susan’s eccentric mode of communication, Susan could nevertheless discern it. She could see the slight strain in his grin, the subtle coldness in his eyes. She felt horrible that she had this effect on people who did not share her upbringing. The problem was that she simply spoke a different dialect of English from this man, and the simple reason for that was that she was raised in a different household. She could do nothing about it, and that was what made it so hard to bear.
Susan decided to tuck in to the meaty meal beneath her. The rich, spicy smell emanating from it was enticing. She stabbed a piece of meat and inserted it into her mouth. It dissolved on her tongue in an instant, and all she was left with was the intense gustatory sensation, the corporeality, the spices, the richness. That piece of meat was truly the best tasting food she had ever put in her mouth. It was otherworldly.
Suddenly she was floating in an ethereal, intangible space, sucrescent spools of light swirling around her, tipping and tumbling forward, alone, together, with all the orgiastic potential in the world.
She was back at the small white table, with the big broth-filled pot in the middle and Andrew’s face opposite her and his mum to her left and his dad to her left. Back in the dark room with the lunar, spindly-digited clock suspended high on the wall to her left, and the cramped, dirty kitchen behind her. Back with her body and its blue jumper and black jeans and its eyes that were now turning in on themselves, observing the fleshy insides of her cranium, her brain, purple and heavily veined, bumpy but soft, somehow gelatinous…
When her eyes rolled back towards the table, the entire family was gazed intently at her, with expressions of shock and concern.
“Are you alright?” Andrew’s mum asked.
“I can affirm this inquiry.”
“She often does this,” Andrew assured his mum.
Susan felt elated; the appreciation of the food Andrew’s parents had prepared her, a synecdoche for their Oriental culture, had enabled her to transcend her socioeconomic, class and racial differences with Andrew’s family and she now belonged.   


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